Chapter Five - The Help

Isabel doesn’t remember how long she sat on the cold tiles of the bathroom in the Garden Hall and quite frankly, she didn’t care. Her phone is still in her hand, clutching tightly onto it as if it can be snatched away from her any moment now. Her knees were drawn to her chest, her arms wrapped around them with her face resting on them. Her eyes were dry now. She was long past the crying. She sits there silently, thinking. Thinking so hard she develops a migraine. Why would Rafael have two addresses, one being a hospital? The only thing she could imagine was a very sick Rafael, one that couldn’t sit up or walk, who needed constant care. Why else would a hospital be important enough for Rafael? The thought of that produced fresh tears and before she knew it, she was weeping again. Wiping the tears back, she had to physically exert all her energy into forcing herself to stand up and sort herself out. In the mirror before her stood a puffy-faced self. Her beautiful dark eyes were disguised by the pinkish-red shade the tears brought with them. Her mascara was smudged, creating dark streaks under her eyes. She grabbed tissues from the nearest cubicle, wetting it and carefully removing her eye makeup until she sees her bare eyes staring back at her. Then, a strong impulsion thrusts her back into reality. She has a sudden urge to see Rafael that night. She couldn’t keep it long enough. It had been two years since she last spoke to him and now that she had his home address, she just couldn’t wait any longer.

Tearing her eyes from the mirror, she drags herself to the door and opens it ajar. She peaks through the opening seeing her friends laughing and enjoying themselves. Part of her was glad none of them were worried enough to go looking for her. She couldn’t risk any of them seeing her in this state. Now she needed to come up with a plan that can get her out of here. She had made up her mind up. Today would be the day she starts that dreaded journey.

Back in UAE, after she escaped her family in Dubai and lived with Rashid for 2 years in Abu Dhabi, she would often dream of meeting Rafael again. After she was past the initial anger for him that controlled her days, she felt sadness. Being angry for too long wasn’t her strongest point and she would force herself many times over to forget. Two bitter years took its toll on her. The woman that bewitched everyone with her beauty and charms became the quiet and heartbroken girl. She would curse Rafael for turning her into this mess, vowing she would never mention his name again. Of course that didn’t work out and after pouring her grief-stricken heart to Rashid who promised to assist her in any way possible, she hopped onto that plane in search for some closure.

Waiting for the performance to end, she decides to calmly make her way to her friends and excuse herself. She would tell them she has a headache which wasn’t lying because she did. Walking back to where she sat on the floor, she bends down to pick up her phone and looks in the mirror again. The signs of distress subsided a bit and she prays her friends wouldn’t notice anything. Patting her hair back into place and practising how to fake a smile in the mirror, she walks back to her table. She sees a few people getting out of their seats, walking to other tables and engaging in some kind of conversation.

“Wow Isabel you were gone for a while, everything okay?” Dina asks as she waves her hand to invite Isabel to take her seat.

She would have to tell them now. That she can’t stay anymore. She hopes they’d believe her.

“Uhm…guys I think I’m going to make my way back home. I am not feeling to well,” she lies as she tries her best to look ill although that wasn’t hard to do.

“What, you are ill. Oh no, what’s hurting?” Sergio asks concerned.

“Don’t worry guys, it’s just a headache and I’m tired.” She hates herself for having to fool her friends like this but she has no choice.

“Oh no! Are you sure? This is just great,” Dina sighs. “Well you can’t just walk home can you? You don’t have a car and you can’t walk for an hour.”

It slipped her mind that she would need a car to get back to her flat never mind going to Essex. She was so consumed in her thoughts she forgot the basics of planning a journey. Now what? She needed a car and she didn’t think the men were prepared to part with their precious vehicles.

“Oh,” she says sheepishly.

“I think you have to stay then or take a bus at 10PM,” Dina replies evenly, intertwining her fingers together and resting her chin on them.

“No, if Isabel doesn’t feel well she should go home and rest,” Sergio finally says. “Don’t worry I’ll drive you home.”

“But you’ll miss the show!” she protests.

“It’s okay, I’d rather miss this than seeing you pass out at our feet,” he replies back.

Great. He’s going to drop me off home and probably tuck me into bed knowing him she thinks. She needed to go to Essex. Alone. She wasn’t prepared for Sergio tagging along.

“Are you sure?” she foolishly replies.

“Yes, I am sure. Let’s go. Let us know how things go here guys,” Sergio says as he stands up and holding Isabel by the waist, leading her out. She waves back at the table and turns around to walk towards the exit. Maybe she should have run off while she had the chance before. She dismisses the idea as quickly as it came to her. She figures out she would let Sergio drop her off and then grab a train to Essex.

When both of them enter the car, she felt slightly uneasy about going by train to Essex. By the time she would have to take that train, it would be around 10:00PM and something about that made her slightly hesitant. She wasn’t in Dubai or Abu Dhabi anymore where everyone wanders around at stupid o’clock at night and not reciting various verses from the Quran out of fear. And whereas normal people would wait until morning to make such journey, Isabel always for some reason had to fulfil immediate urges right then at the moment.

Rafael was exactly like her in that he would always act on things that were on his mind right then. Therefore it came to no surprise when he decided to show up on her doorstep at 11PM one night 30 minutes after they finished speaking on the phone together.

“What are you doing here at this time!” she exclaimed, staring at her watch.

“Just wanted to see you,” he replied as innocently as he could while leaning sideways against the door.

“Alright, come in then,” she said nonchalantly, trying her best to hide her excitement but they both knew she was thrilled to see him. She gave him a tight hug, inhaling his signature musk. He hugged her back, lifting her slightly off her feet. They say down on her brown, leather sofa ignoring the background voices coming from her TV. Resting her head on his shoulder, he lifts his left arm to put it round her. They must have sat there for a while, both staring at the TV, not saying much clearly enjoying sound of their breathing. Finally, Rafael interrupted the comfortable silence by inserting his hand into his jacket and bringing out a velvet box. She noticed his fidgeting and lifted her head from his shoulder to see what he was up to. When she realized he was holding a box, she rotated her body in his direction.

“What is that?” she asked curiously with a hint of suspicion in her voice.

He handed her the box which she opened immediately only to be surprised by the very same pearl necklace she had been eyeing up last week. Astonished by it, she quickly grabbed the necklace and held it up to her neck, grinning from ear to ear. Rafael was also grinning. He loved nothing more than seeing her happy.

“Here, turn around. Let me put it on you,” he offered.

“Rafael, you shouldn’t have,” she said quietly, snapping back from her moment of excitement.

“You loved the necklace,” he replied, confused.

“Yes, but you shouldn’t have bought it. I don’t need it.”

“But did it make you happy?”

She smiled weakly, looking into his eyes. Staring back were his big beautiful eyes, full of love. How did she find a man like this? He was the sweetest man she had ever met and here is was, blessing her with gifts she never asked for. She started tearing up, thinking about her luck.

“Hey, you okay?” Rafael asked, tucking her hair behind her ear which was covering half her face.

“Yeah,” she replied as she held out the necklace to him and turned around. She let her hair dangle at her side, making it easier for him to put the necklace on her. She embraced the warmth that his touch brought, half smiling. She turned around to look at him and he was examining her, appreciating how complementary the pearl necklace was with her light mocha skin. He planted a soft kiss on her bare shoulder and it began from there.

Innocent kisses led to embraces which led to clothes landing on her floor. The next morning, she woke up with her head on his well-defined chest. She lay there for a while, her eyes open with images of last night flashing past her. Each image stabbing her in the stomach. She knew last night was a mistake. A moment of weakness for both them. She was consumed by his touch she told herself. He was still asleep, his expression peaceful. She couldn’t help admire him. His handsome face, filled with harmony, his large biceps, his broad shoulders. She stood up and walked to her kitchen, starting the kettle. She sat down on the chair against her kitchen wall with her mug, holding it with both hands. She still sat there long after her tea went ice cold. She felt sick to her stomach just thinking of how she betrayed her own dignity. There was a battle going in her head. One part of her told her that Rafael is the man she would marry so it wasn’t like he was a stranger she met at a club one night and decided to give him a treat. But she still felt awful. And that feeling was heightened when he stepped into the kitchen, his blonde hair unruly and his eyes sorry.

*

Isabel leans back on her seat, with her eyes closed. They had been driving for 30 minutes now and she expects any moment now for Sergio to pull up outside her apartment. Not much conversation had been exchanged between them. Sergio was probably thinking he was helping her by allowing her to rest for a bit with the hopes of her headache disappearing. When they arrive at her apartment, Sergio asks whether she’d be okay and she replied with a quick nod. Suddenly an idea hit her. She had the address with her but she didn’t know exactly where his house is. How can she be roaming around Essex now? She glanced up at Sergio, softly smiling at her. Should she ask him?

“Thank you so much for the ride. I am so sorry you had to miss bits of the function,” she starts. “I need ask you a favour.”

“It’s okay, forget about that. What’s up?” he asks, tucking his hair behind his ear, listening attentively.

“Uhm…I need your help. I know this is going to sound really crazy but I sort of need your car and its sat nav.” She tries to look as calm and indifferent as she could.

He turns himself towards her, placing his arm over the steering wheel and raising his eyebrows with confusing.

“You want to take my car? Why exactly?” he asks, still with his eyebrows raised.

Maybe she shouldn’t have been so blunt with him? Now she needs to come up with a lie (a very good one) to convince him to let her borrow his car and with a bit of luck, he would agree.

“I need to see someone,” she tries, staring directly into his eyes.

“Who?”

“You know, just a friend.”

“What, now? At this time?”

“Uhm…yes…” She knew she sounded stupid and looked even stupider. She tried hiding her real intentions by displaying her best poker face.

“Are you crazy! Why would you visit someone at this time? Can’t you at least wait in the morning? Where does this friend live that you need a car to go and visit?” Sergio asks.

“I just thought I should see them now,” she answers quietly.

“Are you okay Isabel?” he asks concerned, squeezing her shoulder trying to provide some comfort to her.

She then burst into embarrassing tears that she couldn’t seem to control. It was as if all the tear drops she was fighting to hold back in that half an hour of car journey had escaped. She looked like a blubbering whale, her cheeks streaming down with tears.

“Hey, hey, hey, what’s going on?” Sergio puts his arm around her and lowers his head, levelling with hers, trying to figure out what it could be that upset her so much. He unbuckled his seatbelt to try getting closer to her.

“Isabel, tell me. What is it? Why are you upset?”

She wipes her tears off her face with her fingers, not daring to look in his eyes. She curses herself for exposing her weakness in front of him. Last thing she needed. She then curses herself again for even asking him for his car.

“Sorry, I am just tired,” she mumbles. She knew he wouldn’t have any of it and she knew he would probe her for answers.

“It can’t be anything. You can tell me you know. You seemed okay and now all of the sudden you are crying!”

She told him then. She told him she needed to see a “friend” who she had lost contact with. Part of the reason she came back to London was to track them down and now that she did, she had to take the chance. She of course omitted few facts here and there but the overall story was more or less accurate. When she finished, she was surprised with her honesty with him. She didn’t feel any different now that he knew something about her that nobody else knew here in London. For some reason, she felt her confessions were safe with him. Sergio, as usual, is understanding of her problem and gives her a suggestion. He suggests to her that he could come to pick her up in the morning tomorrow and drop her off to her “friend”. Amazed at his generosity, she quickly agrees and waves goodbye as he leaves.

That night, she succumbed to a restless slumber despite the constant worries attacking her. When she woke up the following morning, she is indecisive as to what she would wear. Today is the day was her mantra, the words spinning in her head leaving her a little light-headed at times. Should she wear something simple and comfortable, something Marwa would wear or should she opt for something out of her current wardrobe? When she still responded to the name Marwa, there would be no clue whatsoever in her behaviour, manners or external appearance to indicate she is from a power and rich family. She hated the exquisite meals the maids would prepare or her bedroom which was packed with luxurious items most of the population would only dream of. She always felt there was more to life. Money and diamonds wouldn’t define her and when she met Rafael, her exclusive life in Dubai was a distant memory. However when she adopted her Isabel persona, all of the sudden she craved the extravagant life she always had and the fancy items she always was brought up with. It was as if money comforted her when she had no one by her side. She was like a heroin addict, craving for her next fix of shopping in malls with starting prices of four digits.

Sergio rings her bell at 11AM as he promised and is slightly taken aback when he sees Isabel.

“You look simple in your shirt and skinny jeans.”

She looks down at her clothes. She must have gone for the Marwa look after all.